There are times when we have someone in our organisation or life that isn’t performing or contributing in an optimal way, the way we would like or they are creating an impact we don’t want.
It’s frustrating, yet most of us don’t speak to the person until it becomes a huge issue.
We think we’re being kind, we’re good people and don’t want to upset their day.
But it’s not kind. It holds people back, gives them less choice and when they do hear it, they feel worse because it’s gone on for so long.
Do the mature thing and have a conversation about it.
Here are some suggestions on how to do it effectively.
1) Do it as close to the event as possible, don’t let it drag on.
2) Check they want feedback first. Most people will say yes.
3) Come from a good place and make sure they know it and feel secure.
4) Leave your ego at home. Ask a question, don’t make a statement. We tend to be more self-critical than others and most people can see how things can be improved e.g “How do you think the presentation went”.
5) Be specific, the more specific the better and make it clear and upfront, (don’t confuse clear with blunt). Try “I’ve observed…”
6) Let them share their perspective and be clear if it’s just your opinion or a fact. Clarify if there is a choice.
7) Let it settle and don’t feel a need to fill any silences.
Having this conversation is the kind thing to do.
If you want some practice or support here I’m always happy to talk you through.